JOB’S COMFORTERS/A GUEST BLOG

This is part 2 of a blog post entitled Job’s Comforters. Part 1 was posted yesterday on www.heatherericksonauthor.com. To read part 1, go here.

Job is sitting on a dung heap in sackcloth and ashes, mourning the loss of all he held dear; his family, property, and his health. His friends came and mourned with him for 7 days in silence. Then they decided to tell him what they thought was the cause of, and solution to his problems. Here is the breakdown:

What did Job’s friends understand to be the causes of Job’s troubles?

Eliphaz (4:7-11) = Only the evil receive trouble, the innocent never perish

Bildad (8:1-4) = Job’s children were sinful

Zophar (11:1-6) = Job mocked God by claiming innocence as God was punishing

 Where did Job’s friends claim to receive their profound insights?

Eliphaz (4:12-5:7) = He was given a vision from God

Bildad (8:8-10) = from the wisdom of the elders

Zophar (11:7-12) = God’s wisdom in this is beyond Job’s understanding

 What solutions did Job’s friends offer?

Eliphaz (5:8-27) = Repent to God and He will restore you

Bildad (8:5-7) = Plead to God, and He will respond. Be pure & upright, and He’ll restore you

Zophar (11:13-20) = Devote yourself to God & put away sin, God will remove troubles

 In yesterday’s blog, I went into the idea that a person who is diagnosed with a life-altering illness, such as cancer, must have done something to cause the cancer; smoking, drinking, unhealthy eating patterns, etc.

What about situations where no cause is found?

Beyond outward behavior that may or may not have contributed to someone getting cancer, there is often a blame game of another sort—sin and God’s will.

Job’s friends go into this quite poetically, and more in depth. The book of Job is an amazingly accurate picture of how people react to tragedy within the church, as well as in the world.

Suffice it to say, both sin and God’s will have been blamed for tragedy since the dawn of time. Remember the Garden of Eden? When God confronted Adam for Adam and Eve’s sin, the first man retorted, “It was the woman you gave me!”

One of my favorite miracles in the New Testament is the healing of the man born blind. I think I like it so much because we are able to see the before, during, and after of the miracle.

Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.  John 9:1-3 New King James Version (NKJV)

There is way more to the story, but the point is that even Jesus’ disciples’ first reaction was to ask who had sinned to cause the man to be born blind. In fact, it was a possibility in their minds that he could have sinned in his mother’s womb, causing blindness from birth!

If we can’t figure out why something happened, we chalk it up to God. He must have seen fit to cause this. Maybe He’s trying to teach us a lesson. Maybe He’s chastising us. If we believe that only the wicked suffer, we don’t need to worry about it happening to us. (I wonder what the apostles did to deserve their martyrdom?)

Psychologists refer to this as the “just-world hypothesis,” first described by psychologist Melvin Lerner and colleagues more than four decades ago (ie. “You got what was coming to you”, “What goes around comes around”, “chickens come home to roost”, and “You reap what you sow”).

We always want to know why something bad has happened. We need to feel that life is under control. If we can’t control it, then at least God is in control.

He is.

God is definitely in control, but He has also given us free will. Adam and Eve sinned and thus began the world after The Fall. The very earth itself was changed. Death came to the world.

Back to Job’s friends.

They were doing so well–until they started to talk. My first suggestion for anyone who finds out that a friend is facing a trial is to listen rather than talk. Bite your tongue when you feel like adding your suggestions. When a person finds out they have a cancer diagnosis, they need some time to process the feelings and thoughts that change rapidly as more information comes in. It is helpful for them to have a sounding board, and if they trust you enough to talk to you about those deep thoughts and feelings, feel honored.

Heather Erickson has written the newly released book, Facing Cancer as a Friend: How to Support Someone who has Cancer. It is available on Amazon.com in both Kindle and paperback. You can find out more about Heather, along with resources about living with cancer, at www.heathererickson.com.

 

REGARDING SUFFERING, FROM ONE WHO SUFFERS

Recently I had the opportunity to speak to a couple of Sunday school classes about suffering. Here are some of my thoughts:

Job, the prince of suffering, declared to his somewhat less principled wife, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). He also observed, “The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). For Job, circumstances in life didn’t change who God is. He is still God and He still is good.

King David, also no stranger to trouble, has comforted millions of readers for thousands of years with the words, “The Lord is an ever-present help in the time of trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

Trouble happens. If it hasn’t yet, buckle your seat belt; it will happen. To you. And who will you be then, how will you react, what legacy will you leave? Will you follow Mrs. Job’s advice and curse God and die, or bless God?

Jesus carried on the theme, saying, “In the world, you have tribulation, but, be of good cheer! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). When trouble happens, God is there. When the apostle Paul was converted, Jesus said of him, “I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake” (Acts 9:16). With a life prophecy like that, certainly Paul learned some things about suffering. For instance:

…We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:3-4).

Paul looked at the big picture of suffering and saw that good comes from it.

Some other thoughts from Paul:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Romans 8:18).

What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived—the things God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Corinthians 2:9).

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (2 Corinthians 4:17).

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).

Along with trouble comes a test in the form of a question, or maybe two: “Do we believe these things or not? Do we believe in everlasting life or not?”

Through over a decade of trials I have found that he is no fool who puts his complete trust in a trustworthy God. God does not cease to be a good God when bad things happen. He is still the same, good God. If anything, He is more appealing than ever. He is the God who will bring us back to the good times and/or carry us through the bad times. You learn things in trials you don’t learn in the good times. Your faith is strengthened. Through the tough times, you become someone you would not have become in the good times. I wouldn’t want to experience again all the difficulties I have had in life, but neither would I be willing to give up the good.they have done in me. I love what Pastor Charles Spurgeon said about the difficulties of life:

“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CANCER PATIENT

As with any cancer patient, I am frequently asked how I am doing. And as with any cancer patient, the answer is, well, complicated. So I thought I would elaborate not for the sake of sympathy, but to create a window for others to peer into the daily life of a cancer patient. In so doing I hope to raise some awareness of the plight of not just cancer patients, but also other terminally or chronically ill people.

Cancer patients and other ill and disabled people are usually regular people like you and formerly me. One day we felt something and went to the Dr. hoping it was no big deal. With most of us, that one Dr. Appointment changed our lives, often the rest of our lives. We measure our lives as before and after that Dr. Appointment. Things are not the same as they were before, mostly worse. We are all one Dr. Appointment away from such a life change.

I can never predict what any 24 hour period will be like for me. I seldom get excited about anything and dread the slightest challenge. I can schedule this or that and can usually follow through with what I have scheduled, but sometimes have to drag my way through it. Keep in mind my schedule is nothing like it used to be. I work about 10 hours a week. I sleep more and take naps. I try to not schedule more than one event per day like a Real Estate appointment or coffee with a friend or an hour or two project at home. Only one. A couple of hours is usually the limit. Energy for a given day is like sand in an hourglass. When it’s gone, it’s gone. The rest of the day is rest or I will pay dearly the next day or up to several days. Life is like climbing a hill every day and never reaching the top. All this to say that fatigue is a huge part of the new life of most cancer patients.

Side effects from treatments are a significant part of the cancer patient’s new life. Like the fatigue mentioned above, they affect every day and night. For instance, I have infected fingernails and toenails. This is something that one wouldn’t even think of as a side effect. It is amazing how painful they can be. And it is amazing how often you use every finger! Typing is painful. Putting socks or other clothes on is painful. And I seem to be forever bumping my fingers into something! So I treat them daily in hopes of some relief.

I have had up to 30 mouth sores at a time. We all know how painful and irritating one mouth sore can be. Multiply that times 30. I am seldom without some mouth sores and treat them throughout the day and night. Eating and keeping on the weight is a constant challenge. Often one’s appetite suffers. Many cancer patients die from malnutrition. Sleeping is not easy. So I take pills to do that too. “Chemo brain” is what we call that inability to remember things or think straight. I often have no idea what the name of the person I am talking to is.

I hesitate to bring this up but most cancer patient’s bathroom visits change drastically with chemo. And not for the better! Sometimes it is often and usually it’s intense! Sores develop, blood from areas that aren’t supposed to bleed, and cramps. Life can be going as expected and then the unexpected calls! So I take medication throughout the day and night to try to beat the bowels into submission.

Often cancer patients experience frequent nausea. Sometimes we spend days in bed. Talking is exhausting. Phone calls often have to wait. Going to church requires lots of rest before and after. Life is just plain challenging every day. And this doesn’t include when surgery is necessary, financial hardships, insurance battles, clueless well-meaning friends declaring the next great cure for cancer and questions like “Where is your faith?”

Close family and caregivers suffer considerably too. They try to help all they can but still have to watch someone they love suffer every day and night. They are with them through the victories and defeats. They love the patient when the patient is irritable or slowly becomes someone who looks nothing like the loved one they once knew.

Add to this the terminal prognosis. For years I have looked death in the eyes every day. And they still tell me it’s coming. It’s hard to explain the effect this has on the everyday life of both the patient and loved ones. Every scan brings what we call in the cancer world, “scanxiety”. What will the next scan reveal? Will things be better or worse? Will it announce the need for yet another drug and subsequent new side effects, or will it announce the beginning of the end?

Well, again, I am not looking for anyone’s sympathy. The grace of our great, compassionate God is sufficient for the day. I just want to communicate what most of us don’t’ think of when we are healthy. I know I didn’t. Life for the ill has completely changed. It is a challenge every day and night. I add night because night is a very big part of the struggle for the ill. I think of those chronically but not terminally ill I have known for years. I never really considered what they go through every day. I certainly never did much to help them. I prayed for them occasionally but casually. Not anymore. I feel their pain and pray like I get it. Maybe a brief window into the life of the ill or disabled will help you consider how you can help make their lives and world a little bit more tolerable. Help them with a project at home. Bring them a meal. Go with them to an appointment if they have no one to go with them (and you don’t know that unless you ask!) Send them a card or message that you are thinking of them. And most of all, pray like it is you suffering. You are just one Dr. Appointment away from being them.

 

IT’S CANCER: THE NEW NORMAL

In spite of a good remission type experience for over a year they still tell me I am terminal. I am given little or no hope for survival. While I respect the medical field and appreciate all they are doing for me, I will leave the prognosis up to my God, not my Doctor. As I’ve said before, if I have a 5% chance of survival for five years, those are much better odds than 0! It’s not the easiest job, but someone has to be the 5%! I love the verse, “Through our God we shall do valiantly, it is He who will tread down our enemies…” We are so blessed to experience trials as believers instead of unbelievers. We encounter many unbelievers fighting cancer or some other horrible challenge and it generally isn’t pretty. Thank you, Lord, for your ever-presence.

As of this writing our cancer journey has lasted 19 months, much longer than most thought it would. I have settled into a new normal that has been my normal for about a year. Every morning between 6:30 and 7:00 am I get up and take my chemo pill. About two hours later I can eat. My appetite has been real good throughout my entire treatment which is a huge blessing. A large number of cancer patients die due to complications from malnutrition. Sometimes I take a nap after breakfast, sometimes I wait till afternoon. Some days I only take one nap, and some days several or nearly all day in bed.

Because of the side effects I only work part time. After 17 years of selling Real Estate, I enjoy it as much as ever and we are thankful for the income. Heather is now licensed and works part time too. We are enjoying our partnership in the business and she is doing well with it. All our bills continue to get paid. Walks are no longer a given. Bike riding, something I really enjoy, is seldom an option. We are selling our camper because it’s too much work. We are not involved in church activities because of inability to cope with the demands. But along with the limitations has been the opportunity to write. I write this blog about four times a week, and have several books I am working on. The first one, the ABCs of the Bible is nearly complete. The next one, Praying the Psalms, should be complete by the end of the year. This is proving to be very rewarding and an opportunity to put my convictions down in written form.

Like any cancer patient, we live from scan to scan. We feel pretty good about the future, but when scan time comes every three months, it brings a dose of reality back for about a week. I wouldn’t say we fear a return of the cancer, but are very aware that solid believers die every day from cancer. We are at the Lord’s mercy, and are comfortable resting there.

As a family we like to take vacations and enjoy the special family time that comes with a getaway. Extra things like this help the girls to not feel like they are always living with a cancer patient. This year we have three planned: A road trip in the end of May, the details which I cannot disclose because it is a surprise for the kids. This will be a physical challenge for me but the schedule is loose in case Dad needs to crash for a day or two. For around 20 years the Erickson family, usually 25-30 people, rent cabins up north and spend an entire week together. We are not just family but also great friends. We expect to go again this year. And this year is our fifth wedding anniversary. On our honeymoon we went on a cruise and said we would like to do it again on our fifth. We have been saving a little here and there for a while and have booked a cruise in October. This also will be a physical challenge but I hope to acclimate to the ship movement and have a good week.

We have regular contact with the three older children that live on their own and they are doing well and contending for Dad to experience a miracle. The younger three at home see Dad with all his challenges first hand every day. They are very loving and are great cheerleaders. They have an occasional emotional set back but remain strong in their faith and optimistic for many more years of great life as a family.

So the new normal has set in. Most things I schedule I don’t look forward to but try to figure out how to endure them. Yet somehow life is good and we are thankful. You are part of this journey and we greatly appreciate all your help these past 19 months. God bless you, dear friends!

To read other “It’s Cancer” editions, click on to “Dan’s Battle with Cancer” in the right column.

 

IT’S CANCER: OUR HEROS

Being diagnosed with a life threatening disease, and all the related difficulties that go with it, has been an interesting study in the reaction of the family of God, the Church. I hear from others in crisis, that they have been let down by their brothers and sisters in Christ. I am happy to testify of the opposite for me and my family to this day.

From the time I was diagnosed, there was a flood of concern. I actually had to turn off the facebook chat and not answer my phone because there was no break. It was such a difficult, emotional time, that I delegated the job of updates to others. It was a good idea. Everyone still got the details and we were able to deal with our emotions and acclimating to this new bad news.

The one exception to the outpouring of concern was the lack of calls and emails Heather received. A few of her dear friends and family talked to her, and checked on how she and the girls were doing. I heard about the people praying for them, but she didn’t, so this part of our journey was very lonely and frightening for her. Often the patient gets the bulk of concern and attention. This is, of course, is common. Even though God hears the prayers, it is so important that the people being prayed for have that assurance that they are being prayed for.

Soon I was getting invitations to come to prayer meetings for believers to pray for me. I went to most of them. It was clear that this was beyond our ability to overcome on our own, so our merciful God was a welcome partner in the battle. People would corner me in church, at the Real Estate office, at restaurants, in parking lots and lay hands on me and pray for me, (and they still do).

Dear friend with a major challenge in your life: Let your brothers and sisters know about your difficulties and let them to pray for you. When you are being prayed for, you know all is being done that can be.  It is out of your hands and in the hands of your heavenly father- and that’s a good place to leave it.

During the first few months of chemo when I felt awful, several loved ones stepped up and brought us meals. Although Heather could still physically cook meals, there were days when due to the schedule of appointments, and the sheer emotional exhaustion, it was difficult to even remember to take something out of the freezer, let alone to plan and make a meal for our family. What a blessing this was every single time. And oh, what delicious meals!

Often when someone faces a major illness or the like they also suffer financially. In my case, I could work very little due to being so sick and to this day, still only work part time. Soon a bag of groceries would come, a bill was paid, or checks and cash started showing up. We never missed paying a bill in spite of very challenging financial circumstances. My brothers and sister set up a fundraising effort related to their exercising habits and also a benefit concert. Again, the money and support came in, always enough, always on time. We were even given an all-expense paid vacation at a cabin last summer. Over and over the blessings flowed and great gratitude goes to all who heard the call and helped.

If you are wondering if you should give money to someone in a crisis situation, ask them about their needs. Most often there is a need. Your gift of any size, along with others will help ease their burden in the time of trouble. Someone was so thoughtful to give us some gas cards to help with the many extra trips to the doctor, slippers, and a robe for the days it was tough to even get dressed. There are way too many kindnesses to list them all. Each one was special.

I anticipated a decrease in prayers by the saints as my condition improved or as time went on.  But to my pleasant surprise I am often reminded that my brothers and sisters in Christ are still praying faithfully! Occasionally someone we don’t even know still contacts us, and informs me that they are still praying regularly for me and my family. Much love and concern still comes our way regularly. We have experienced the family of God being the family of God in a big way.

Not all are as blessed as we are when trouble hits. Some get lost in a large church. Some aren’t involved in their church. Others aren’t hooked up to a smaller group. Many do not have the blessing of a loving Christian family. Look for those in need, and help fill their needs! Do unto others as you would have them do unto you! Thank you, dear family of God, for all your blessings!

For more “Its Cancer” posts click on to Dan’s Battle with Cancer in the right column.

 

IT’S CANCER AND DAN’S DECADE OF TRIALS

In the past decade I have battled Hepatitis C, went through a several year divorce, had a complete financial demise and for the last year and a half have been dealing with stage IV lung cancer. Any one of those would have been a major life event. But one after another they came. Not exactly the best of times!

When a trial comes knocking, so does opportunity. I wouldn’t want to go through any of the above again, but also wouldn’t trade any of the lessons learned and spiritual growth I have experienced through the tough times. I would be far less of a disciple of Jesus Christ without having experienced the blessing of trials.

Tough times are just that…tough. But much benefit comes from trials that would not come through good times. In good times we too often just bebop through life and are on auto pilot. A hiccup in life stops us and makes us think of life and what it is all about; why we are here. Difficult experiences build character. You make major spiritual decisions in midst of the trial. You learn to lean on Him who is the ever present help in the time of trouble. You learn faith. You learn to trust.

Each time of trouble came at different seasons of my life (although all during middle age) and provided much needed opportunity for growth and maturity. They were each their own major challenges and brought much difficulty with them including the whole range of emotions. Why me? could have been asked over and over. But, then again, why not me? Trials happen. The people of God experience trouble all the time. Godly people die every day of evil diseases. No, I am not giving up the fight. But life just happens, and I choose to embrace the opportunity to learn and grow until I am through it.

I also choose to embrace the God of all comfort who comforts us in our tribulations. He is always there. If we look to our own resources only we will come up short and be greatly discouraged in tough times. But when we learn to see Him who is invisible and find rest under the shadow of His wings, we come out on the other side stronger, a better God-lover and more faithful.

Many have commented about the grace I display through this latest challenge. Grace is the right word. Unmerited favor has accompanied me every day and I give credit to a very loving and faithful God. Trials aren’t forever. One way or another they end. They are a part of life but they aren’t life itself. And they are an opportunity to love God and trust Him no matter what gets thrown our way. They are an opportunity to worship, and give Him the glory due His name. Embrace the trial, dear friend, your God is with you to carry you through it.

“The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

“Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your Word.” Psalm 119:67

If you want to read more “Its Cancer posts click on to Dan’s battle with cancer on the right column

 

ALL THOSE CANCER CURES AND GUILT TRIPS

It is not my intent to offend anyone, but this blog will likely have that effect. One of the things no cancer patient is ready for is the title wave of advice and guilt trips from those who have never had cancer. I am so thankful for all those who care enough for me to give me advice in an effort to hasten my healing. But what many don’t realize is that others are dishing out equally compelling but conflicting advice on how to annihilate cancer from my body. The only common thread in all the advice I’ve received is how foolish I am to be on chemo. So I thought I would address the blessing of friends who want the best for me but it doesn’t always come out that way. The purpose of this blog is to show what actually is helpful to a cancer patient and what could use a little adjustment. There are three main responses to someone with cancer that are meant to be helpful but aren’t all that helpful. They are anti-medical, other cures, and the God factor.

But let us begin with the diagnosis. A Dr. sits their patient down and speaks the most feared words in any language: “It’s cancer.” Most beginning cancer patients have little knowledge about the disease other than it’s not a good thing to have. Then the prognosis. After the diagnosis and prognosis, the cancer patient has a less than ideal time frame to make a life or death decision on how he or she will fight back against this dreaded disease. The medical professional is the one that had the know how to diagnose the disease, so it seems obvious to turn to them for help. And most do. Some receive helpful treatment. Some do not. Some live. Some die.

Many of the medical community who are in Oncology are there because of an experience with a loved one who had cancer. They care. They want to help and they would love to see their patients live rather than die. The idea that there is some big conspiracy in the medical field to make money off the poor cancer patients is ridiculous. Sure they have to make a profit, but they certainly don’t want their patients to die. This is a more common theory then most are aware of. Many believe it until they need medical help.  Just today my wife called a medical hotline to decide if all the blood pouring out of our daughter’s face merited a visit to the ER. Like so many times in the past, the medical professionals talked us out of coming in to pay them money. It’s not a conspiracy. Most who think it is a conspiracy have a list of conspiracies they ascribe to. By the way, my daughter is fine! One more thought…do those anti-medical folks really think the insurance companies would pay out millions or billions every year for medical treatment if there was a natural cure  for four dollars and 50 cents instead?

I have known several who have tried various alternative cancer cures and they all, every one of them, died. On the other hand, I have known many with stage IV cancer that have followed Dr.’s advice and prayed and are still around to tell about it years later. I’m pretty good at math and it seem clear which was has a better chance of life!

I am probably up to at least 50 sure-fire cures for cancer that people have recommended to me–sometimes emphatically–often contradicting each other. Well-meaning people nearly insist I drop everything and chew this or inhale that or take cold and hot showers and the cancer will flee. I was given six months to live, so which of these 50 cures, without any clinical proof of success, am I supposed to bet my life on? I choose to listen to those, “evil medical professionals,” and continue to take the medicine that has kept me alive way beyond what even the medical professionals predicted.

And then there are those precious brothers and sisters in Christ that have endless quotes, verses, and declarations. Of course, the Bible verses are good and I am familiar with them, but are often delivered in such a way that one nearly always feels guilty for having the audacity to call them self a Christian and be sick. Here are a few of the most common reactions I have received from others when they learned about my battle with cancer. Do you think you would like to hear these?

• It’s a lie from the devil and you don’t really have cancer
• You SHOULD try this cure…times 50
• You aren’t going to go the chemo route are you? All the medical field wants is your money. Chemo just makes you worse in the end and you die sooner
• Chemo doesn’t work
• Don’t confess that you are sick

Or would you rather hear these?

• I will pray for you regularly
• How are you doing financially?
• How are your children doing?
• What can I do to help?

It’s probably obvious which of the above are more helpful. The decision to follow whatever treatment is a decision that does not come lightly. The spouse and family are very involved in the process too, and they all have to live with the results of the decision. Their life has come undone. Don’t complicate things with reasons they should second guess themselves. With a disease that so often kills and has no sure cure, there is really no right or wrong decision on how to treat it. It’s a personal decision. There may be some merit in an alternative cure, but many cancer patients don’t have the luxury of taking their chances on this or that experimental herb or whatever. By the time most people come with all the cures, the decision on what treatment to embrace has already been made. One who has cancer needs a miracle. Bless them, help care for their needs, and pray for them.

 

 

IT’S CANCER…ANOTHER

Pretzled together like a couple of young lovers my wife and I enjoyed our Sunday afternoon nap. I awoke and admired this gift from God snuggled next to me…again. Gratitude is frequently my reaction to every day events that once passed by barely noticed. The gift of another day for me is hardly ordinary. Every day is all wrapped with a ribbon on it and I begin them all with anticipation and gratitude.

It’s been a year and a half now since my diagnosis of Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer. It came as a surprise and the prognosis was even more of a shock: Six months left to live. You might say that now I have been on borrowed time for a year. I have much to be thankful for, and I am.

I am captivated by the every day gifts of “another” that have come my way since diagnosis. Here are some of them:

• Another birthday
• Another Thanksgiving and Christmas
• Another Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter
• Another anniversary
• Another celebration of my children’s birthdays
• Another bike ride
• Another walk
• Another hug
• Another kiss
• Another day at church
• Another prayer meeting
• Another coffee time with friends
• Another car to be bought
• Another case of the flu
• Another pill
• Another Dr. Appointment
• Another scan
• Another card game with Mom and Dad
• Another time reading my Bible
• Another time in prayer
• Another time listening to someone with big dreams
• Another time listening to someone with problems
• Another time encouraging someone in their faith
• Another check to a missionary or gift to someone in need
• Another book to read
• Another book to write
• Another laugh
• Another cry
• Another date
• Another vacation
• Another Bible story and prayer with the kids
• Another phone call with a loved one
• Another visit with a loved one
• Another bill to pay
• Another computer problem
• Another movie
• Another day
• Another heartbeat
• Another breath from these lungs

The list could go on and on. Everything is a gift, (even the pills) to be thankful for. All of the above I was not expected to experience in the last year, but I drank in every moment. How could I be a man less than constantly grateful?

I am on borrowed time, but then so are you. We are all one Dr. Appointment from a major life change, and one Dr. Appointment away from a major attitude change. Why wait? Dear friends, slow down your life and begin to count the blessings. Your blessings are as wonderful as mine. As the apostle Paul said, make the most of every opportunity. Life and everything in it is a beautiful gift. Don’t just set it aside until you have time to unwrap it. Tear the paper off today, and behold, your gift of life. Don’t just exist. Live…Life…Today. And give thanks.

 

THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF CHEMO

After the great prayer meeting and a trip to Mayo it soon became time to try the chemo pills again. I was told that I would take some form of chemo for the rest of my life. The plan was to start at one third the dose (daily) and over time work up to higher doses as I could handle it. Over the next weeks I ended up at two thirds the original dose and am at that dose to this day. Here are some musings about the first few months of chemo.

The side effects were more tolerable than the full dose but still distinct. A significant rash and mouth sores abounded. A foggy brain became the new norm. But chief among the side effects was, and is, a lack of energy that greatly affects my everyday life. It is easy to overdo it. What used to be a two mile walk, is often a half a mile now (or nothing at all). Sometimes I will participate in activities that a normal person would consider an add-on to an already busy day. But for me it may take two or three days of time in bed to recuperate. I try to budget my energy, doing only one significant thing a day, if possible. That may be showing houses to a client, or going out to eat, or a walk or an hour project at home. Life has more hurdles than it used to, but life is still a good race, and I am thankful for each and every day. If days or weeks of not feeling well yields extra years of life, it is a good trade.

One of the things the chemo was affecting was my ability to perform satisfactorily as Pastor of our church. The church was small, so that helped, but I did everything from preaching, to counseling to cleaning the facility. Sundays quickly became overwhelming. In February 2013 I resigned, effective July first. The rest of the time as pastor went alright, but I was greatly relieved to be done with the responsibilities.

When one takes their faith seriously, they enjoy an outlet to minister in some capacity. At first, it felt like giving up the church diminished my opportunities to minister. What would I do? Well, I would do what any other believer does, or should do, who isn’t in church leadership. I would just obey the Lord in everyday life and look for opportunities to cheerlead others in their faith. I would spend more time studying and praying and getting to know God better. It has been a great time of blessing and being blessed.

The first few months of chemo were very challenging, but tolerable. We received lots of help from others which I will comment further on in another blog. Our God was clearly ever-present during this time, helping every step of the way. Being part of a cancer support group, we see all kinds of attitudes and reactions about cancer and treatment. Thanks to knowing God, we find much to be thankful for and encouraged about. God does not cease being a good God when circumstances deteriorate. Adverse circumstances are the land of opportunity to grow in our faith and see the Lord’s faithfulness.

 

ITS CANCER 9 THE MAYO CLINIC

Because of the seriousness of the cancer plaguing me, and the bleak prognosis, my oncologist offered me a referral to the Mayo Clinic for a second opinion. I felt comfortable with her assessment, but with life in the balance, why not?

At 5 am the day after the Great Prayer Meeting, Heather, the girls and I were up and on our way to the Mayo Clinic. My aunt and uncle, Becky and Tom, live in the area and are familiar with Mayo. They cleared their schedule to spend the next two days with us at the Clinic. My cousins, Mike and Laura, also live in the Rochester area and graciously offered to put us up in their home and watch the kids while we were at the clinic. These selfless people were a huge blessing, and helped make the Mayo experience a good one from beginning to end.

You could use a lot of words to describe the Mayo Clinic and Impressive certainly is one of them. The employees, the facility, the procedures—everything is the best there is. My first visit was with a Pulmonary Specialist. He had a great way about him and was in no hurry at all. He ordered a fresh chest x-ray and labs as part of his examination. We spent considerable time with him and got all our lung questions answered. When we were done he asked, “Would it be alright if we prayed?” Well, I suppose it would! He led in prayer and he sure prayed! What a great first appointment!

Tom and Becky took us out for lunch and we had a wonderful time. In the afternoon we sat and waited for an impromptu opening with a dermatologist, but a space never opened up. But it was a great afternoon with nice people. We then went to Mike and Laura’s and were treated to a delicious chicken dinner. The kids had a great day too. When we retired for the evening we found a robe and flowers in our room. These people went all out to serve. Wow.

The next day was an appointment with an oncologist for a second opinion. Again, she was in no hurry and we spend a considerable amount of time with her. She had just viewed the new x-ray that had been ordered the day before. The tumors and lymph nodes had significantly decreased in size. Upon a physical examination, she had a difficult time even feeling the tumors and lymph nodes. She asked me to explain what had been discovered with all the tests so far. She had that info, of course but apparently wanted to hear it all from me. I described all the places with cancer, the tumors and all the locations where there were enlarged, cancerous lymph nodes. Here’s what she said: “Well, if you say that you had all those tumors and enlarged lymph nodes, I believe you. But I see little evidence of that now.” Huh? This was the first we heard how the Lord was working. Two days after our prayer meeting and this Mayo specialist says essentially, things look pretty good today! We talked more about how lung cancer is a nasty, aggressive cancer and has an appetite to return wreak havoc ASAP. She evaluated the treatment plan and concurred that it was the best plan. As a result we were of course greatly encouraged, and felt like we were in good hands with our God and competent physicians.

Again, Tom and Becky took us out for lunch and then we went to pick up the kids to head back home. Thank you Mike and Laura for your wonderful hospitality and Tom and Becky for taking us under your wings. The Mayo trip lasts in our memories as a great experience and a shining example of family being family. Our God knows our needs and we can trust Him to fill our needs. He is a good God.

If you want to read past editions of It’s Cancer click on to “Dan’s battle with Cancer” in the right column.